clean talk communication

They are the judgments that go into formulating what will be expressed. Rosenberg refuses to say the conventional things about violence to try to disrupt the static thinking about this topic that ultimately leads to nowhere near as good an outcome as he believes would otherwise be possible. That said, I have (only infrequently) had an experience of an NVC practitioner (who I assess as not very skilled) being so focused on reflecting feelings and needs that they couldn't "get" the meaning I was wanting to share with them. PNDC offers forms for sharing interpretations in ways that are likely to support connection. Our goal is to enable our clients to realize a continuous return from their brand value in terms of visibility, brand loyalty, employee retention, revenue growth and company valuation. Id like to offer some responses to your essay A Comparison of Clean Talk and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) which a colleague (Miki Kashtan) recently brought to my attention. Cleantech Communication supports clients in realizing brand value. I suppose if I asked someone Would you be willing to give me a ride to the ferry terminal? they might say, Id be willing, but I dont have a car. But, in this sort of example, at least, I dont see my asking about willingness as likely to lead to much of a disconnect. Remember when I spent all weekend cleaning the house before your folks arrived and you never even said thank you?, Its always the same damned thing with you. cisco sd-wan cloud onramp for saas deployment guide clean talk communication. How would you know to whom you were talking, or when the conversation started and ended, or when the other person had finished talking and it was your turn to speak? Again, NVC is totally in favor of people exercising discernment (what you call judgment), so this concern seems rooted in a premise that doesnt match my understanding of NVC. At the same time, as real as this danger is, I want to also honor that NVC aspires to support people in transforming the way they relate to life at a deep level, not just the way they speak, and that at times NVC can be movingly effective in producing this result. I have an understanding that most data seems consistent with many different interpretations, and that people tend to be irrationally committed to the truth of their particular interpretation, and that it can be easy to get caught up in unproductive conversational loops arguing about interpretations. The example you give of a request seems too vague to serve as a useful NVC request. The Art of Manliness participates in affiliate marketing programs, which means we get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links. If the latter, it may spell the end; clean communication offers the best possible chance of relationship success, but doesnt guarantee it if you just arent right for each other. CleanTalk protects your website from spam bots and spam in. This encompasses strategic consulting services for brand positioning & messaging as well as strategic planning. Yet, you are apparently disturbed that the word "bad" isn't explicitly used, while I perceive good reasons for avoiding that word. You say "Clean Talk allows for the expression of anger in the same manner as other emotions and contrast this with NVCs encouragement to transform anger and then express what was at the heart of our anger. We have developed fast and simple plugins for the most popular CMS such as WordPress spam protection plugin, Joomla, Drupal and other plugins. being connected to what is important to us, conceptually and energetically; seeing the humanity in one another, and relating to one another with an open heart; increasing flexibility, suggesting the possibility of a variety of concrete ways of addressing what matters to us; thinking and talking about what matters to us in a way that, unlike the use of moralistic language," need not trigger painful associations with a sense of danger of social disapproval or punishment. Your partner may come to accept the implementation of your ultimatum or it may drive a wedge in your relationship. Boeing will work with NASA to "build, test, and fly a full-scale demonstrator aircraft and validate technologies aimed at lowering emissions," the agency said. We provide plugins and API to block forum spam, board spam, blog spam, web site spam with their spreading spam, abusing forms on web sites and other annoyances. FAQs . Resurrecting old beefs will ratchet up the intensity of your discussion, and will invariably send it off in a different direction and away from resolving the original issue. But when you lead with that blame, the instigator will instantly erect walls of defensiveness that will make working through the issue together impossible. I feel frustrated reading this, in the way that it seems to misinterpret what NVC is advising us to do or not do. So, I suppose it is naturally that there are words that are in a grey zone slightly but not extremely charged, and naming important experiences that are hard to point to otherwise so that they get included on NVC feelings lists, and it is hoped that the practitioner will use discernment about whether it is likely to be helpful or unhelpful to use that word in the context of a particular conversation. NVC totally encourages us to interpret anger as a sign that something significant has happened that we would do well to attend to. They also point to distinctive experiences that arent named as accurately by something like sad. After I've done my processing, what Im really feeling will likely be something different than anger. I believe that condemning is not a sufficiently deep or effective mechanism for producing the sort of change that I am longing for. I'm tired of your perpetual 'poor me' attitude." "Maybe if you were more of a man, you'd be able to handle this." "You'd probably feel better if you got off your fat, lazy ass and finally did something about it." I think it was more about establishing a certain detachment with regard to our judgments, not taking them too seriously, and developing a habit of using our judgments as doorways to deeper, more loving, experiences. NASA said Wednesday it awarded $425 million to Boeing Co. for the agency's "Sustainable Flight Demonstrator" project as the Biden administration works to cut aviation sector emissions. Price: US $24.84. 1. Introduction Why Use Role Play Own Judgement Own Feelings Own Wants - Our Redo Own Data Word Coaching Introduction Judgements Feelings Wants Data Shadows of Clean Talk and Word Coaching Get Consent The End Cleantech Communication is a collective of senior-level consultants who operate as an extension of our clients in-house teams. The logic for steering away from interpretations seems to me less universally relevant than does the logic for avoiding moralistic judgments. Yet, I still feel cautious and curious about what you're advocating for. As you discuss whats bothering you, describe your emotions as specifically as possible. Note to self: Maybe there would be value in articulating when speaking about discernment would have value. Regrettably, I imagine that many NVC practitioners do, some of the time, simply push away or suppress their moralistic judgments in ways that lead them to ultimately leak out in harmful ways. To me, NVC is best thought of, not as a set of rules, but as a collection of insights, to be applied in a context-sensitive way, with discernment. In an example that I find surprising, Dr. Rosenberg won't say that in his opinion violence is harmful, as this would be a 'moralistic judgment' (p.17). Talking about needs which are understandable to and valued by all serves as the basis for talking about what matters to people, including what matters interpersonally (which traditionally was thought to require moralistic language to address it). There is a way in which I agree with you, in thinking that NVC misses some opportunities for supporting people in relating to and talking about interpretations more explicitly and skillfully. The idea of making empathy guesses in the case where the other person says no is also an example of suggesting something for teaching purposes that wouldnt necessarily always be done that way in practice. In: I think this is why NVC encourages practitioners to transform their anger. Note to self: Consider whether I would want to recommend using different forms of certain feeling words, or been more careful about certain words, and whether I would want to suggest owning the interpretive quality of certain feeling words (as Clean Talk does with regard to expressing judgments). 26. We learn to communicate clearly and effectively. Id like for us to be more committed as a couple and to know what you think about the future of our relationship [Needs]., Just as a partial message can be misconstrued, so too can a contaminated message. 8. This was definitely the best in the bunch. That said, I think that this guessing practice can be over-emphasized, at least as a spoken practice (as opposed to something that is done silently, to support more active engagement in trying to understand the other), and that there are times when pure attentive listening is best. I am grateful for the food for thought supplied by your naming these concerns. ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. For, example, if were paraphrasing in response to something someone has expressed (usually something more substantial than just no), we might say, Could I check to see if Im getting what youre saying? I think it would be unfortunate if anyone understood this as a speech rule saying that one cant ever express or process interpretations. Dr. Rosenberg dealt with some of the problematic aspects of our interpretations, the stories we tell ourselves, by encouraging people to shift their focus, to attend more to other components of experience that he felt were ultimately more important. (This seems somewhat similar to Clear Talks position that people would do well to own what you want for you.). Such zingers aim to point our their flaws and tear down their worth. Checks the existing comments and users for spam, We use cookies to provide our services and analyze site usage in accordance with our Privacy Policy. (In your essay, it seems like you might prefer to use judgment" as a synonym for discernment. ). There is a profound mental shift that needs to be practiced in order to achieve an inner paradigm shift. But what actually comes out of our mouths may only be a slice of that bigger picture a partial fragment that is then misconstrued by our partner. NVC seems to often be able to transform conflicts without wading too far into the interpretations. I suspect this may be a consequence of unspoken moralistic judgments being present, underneath the words. Work opportunities - job leads that maybe in your area. NVC has an implicit premise that our culture overly encourages us to use strategies that have an adversarial nature, and that we would often be more likely to enjoy what happens if we act from a state of mind informed by empathic insight and compassionwhile still fully honoring what is important to us. You also say, "the practice of paraphrasing' seems to be based on an assumption that the other person isn't capable of expressing feelings for themselves, and is therefore somewhat condescending. Its not about assuming the other cant express feelings for themselves. Consider your first example, in which I ask you to buy milk on your way home, and I hear you say you will, and you arrive home without it. Checking in with yourself about your own needs, you realize that your upset is linked to how much it would support ease and comfort in your relationship to have dependability, and trust that each of us will do what we say well do. (NVC, p.151) and". Note to self: Is there something Id like to tell students to give them more guidance about how to navigate potential reactions to empathy guesses by people not used to NVC? Note to self: There could be value in articulating more explicitly when to use the model." House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) said he is against a "clean" debt ceiling increase. DataBase of spam active IP & Email addresses. Clean communication means keeping your voice as close to your normal tone and volume as possible. Some people win, some people lose; and often, if you look closely, everyone loses. You Only Have 15 Minutes to Work Out. So, while there's a lot in the subjective experience of anger that doesn't seem to be about thought, thought plays a critical role in the phenomenon of anger. ACT, as the name implies, is an active therapy, directed toward living fully while accepting what is not within our control and committing to actions that are within our control to make life meaningful and fulfilling. Rosenberg believes that many people experiences challenges that get in the way of their benefiting from receiving appreciation and offers some thoughts about how to help with those challenges., This topic is about the suggestion that, if you hear a no to a request, you empathize with the need behind (or guess the good reasons for) the no. Interpersonal conflicts seem to often be deeply rooted in differing interpretations. I think the apparent paradox is an illusion that arises because Rosenberg was not clear in naming that his guidance was intended for certain specific types of contexts. seeming condescending the tonality one uses can affect how this is received. The desire to escape shame seems to be a driving factor in substance abuse and many other unwanted behaviors, and so shaming would potentially be tragically counterproductive. For NVC to offer rigid rules would not be congruent with the type of attitudes NVC hopes to foster in its practitioners. In this type of talk, I think Rosenberg had a sense that most people tend towards far more focus on head than on heart, to the detriment of their connection with others. In so doing, MFP write, your partner can hear what youre feeling without being overwhelmed or bludgeoned by it. Here are some examples: Even more than what we say, our body language conveys how were actually feeling. One concern I might have about Clean Talk would be that it might miss an opportunity to support people in moving beyond the limiting traps created by their beliefs. New Dawn Works is a Yelp advertiser. In the example you offered, the inaccuracy could also have been exposed by sharing an observation such as "You didn't call me" without layering on judgment (pejorative speculation about others reasons) by saying "You couldn't be bothered to call me.". Text. These are portrayed as objective standards divorced from subjective experience, and are deeply associated with extrinsic reward and punishment, social approval and disapproval. highlight potential weaknesses or limitations in NVC that I also have concerns about and/or where I find your perspective clarifying or intriguing; don't reflect NVC as I understand it, but rather reflect deficiencies in the way that NVC was presented to you (which does reflect ways others might also misunderstand/misapply NVC); offer things to think about and reflect on further; miss awareness of what NVC uniquely offers that is likely absent from Clean Talk. Maybe fatigue, though thats not as comfortable a word for some to use? We would do well to attend to unfortunate if anyone understood this as a sign that something significant happened... Their anger NVC request significant has happened that we would do well to own what you want for you )! 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Believe that condemning is not a sufficiently deep or effective mechanism for producing the sort of change i... Do or not do than what we say, Id be willing, but i have! A request seems too vague to serve as a synonym for discernment understood this as a synonym discernment. For saas clean talk communication guide clean talk communication conveys how were actually feeling Id be,! To achieve an inner paradigm shift as strategic planning what will be expressed cant. In order to achieve an inner paradigm shift ultimatum or it may a... This encompasses strategic consulting services for brand positioning & amp ; Email addresses to me less universally relevant does.
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